Men's Dream Home?

This Heineken commercial made me laugh until beer shot out my nose, and I wasn't even drinking beer.



The look on the screaming guy's faces when they see the walk-in fridge is cracking me up. I'm not a fan of Heineken, but I shall toast one to them for this hilarious bit.

Movie Review: Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer

As a child Jack Brooks witnessed the brutal murder of his family. Now a young man he struggles with a pestering girlfriend, therapy sessions that resolve nothing, and night classes that barely hold his interest. After unleashing an ancient curse, Jack's Professor (Robert Englund) undergoes a transformation into something not-quite-human, and Jack is forced to confront some old demons... along with a few new ones.

Sort of a campy, old school, gore-fest, I thought this movie worked on a few levels. It's a lot of fun while at the same time is pretty heavy on character development. It slowly (maybe too slowly) builds while getting into what make the lead character tick, then in the last 20 minutes or so really delivers on the thrills and fun. It reminded me quite a bit of Army of Darkness, with a slightly more serious edge.

Trevor Matthews is excellent as Jack and doesn't overdo the part ala Bruce Campbell. His character isn't as much about cute quips and one-liners and he is just trying to keep his anger in check and get through day-to-day life. Despite his anger issues, he's a pretty likable guy as well.

Rachel Skarsten plays a perfectly annoying girlfriend and Robert Englund, better known as Freddy Krueger in the Nightmare on Elm Street series, is a delight as he overplays his part towards the comical side.

The monster designs and special effects are delightfully cheesy while still pretty gross, just like they were in the 1980's, and the film remains comical in spite of the gory bloodshed.

Overall it's a pretty fun monster film but far from a classic. It does set-up a nice franchise though as I look forward to another film in the series.

6/10

Best of 2008: Movies

I watch a lot of movies, at both the theater and home, but I don't watch a lot of "critically acclaimed" films. I can't help it, they just bore the heck out of me usually. In fact if a bunch of critics really bash a movie that ups my chances to see it. I watch a lot of mindless comedies, horror and action films and I'm proud of it. I like to escape when I hit the theater, I don't need to see political drama or a love story. Bleh.

So anyway, here are my favorite films of the year. You probably won't find a lot of Academy Award winners in my lists.

Top 10 Horror Movies of 2008

10. Feast II: Sloppy Seconds
9. Rogue
8. Storm Warning
7. The Strangers
6. The Midnight Meat Train
5. Saw V
4. The Orphanage
3. The Ruins
2. Quarantine
1. Cloverfield

The Top 10 Action/Adventure Movies of 2008

10. Death Race
9. Eagle Eye
8. Wanted
7. Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
6. The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
5. Rambo
4. Quantum of Solace
3. Hellboy II: The Golden Army
2. Iron Man
1. The Dark Knight

The Top 5 Comedies of 2008

5. Get Smart
4. Run, Fatboy, Run
3. Zack and Miri Make A Porno
2. Step Brothers
1. Tropic Thunder

The Top 5 Animated Films of 2008

5. Space Chimps
4. Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa
3. Horton Hears A Who
2. Kung-Fu Panda
1. Wall-E

Worst Movie: (tie) either Shark In Venice or 100 Million B.C. or maybe Anaconda III... they all suck a lot

Best Actor: Everybody goes with Heath Ledger, but Robert Downey Jr. ruled in both Iron Man and Tropic Thunder... he's my pick

Best Actress: I absolutely love Elizabeth Banks in Zack and Miri Make a Porno and she was also in Definitely, Maybe, Meet Dave and a couple of American Dad episodes. Winner.

Best Direct-To-DVD Title: I think Storm Warning is a great, brutal film with a real mean streak. I enjoyed it.

Best DVD Box Set: Dirty Harry box set... includes all five Dirty Harry films, deluxe editions, feature-length documentary Clint Eastwood: Out of the Shadows and a freakin' badge!!

Favorite Poster:

Merry Beermas To Me!

I'm still working my way through some delicious Christmas presents, like this assortment:



Hey, what can I say, people know what I like. I'm pretty easy to buy for and unlike that fruitcake you got that you'll throw out in a few months, these will get ghost'd pretty quickly.

Pictured is a Leinekugel's 1888 Bock, Shiner Holiday Cheer, Left Hand Snowbound, Wychwood Bah Humbug and a Saranac Winter Sampler Pack.

I've never tried anything from Saranac, so I'm excited to bust those open. I've had 1 beer from Left Hand Brewing, the Milk Stout, and it was delicious so I'm looking forward to another of their offerings. Shiner (Spoetzel Brewery) and Leinekugel are from 2 of my favorite breweries and actually, I've drank one of each of the 2 pictured from them and both were great. I've heard good things about the Bah Humbug as well.

I also got some Bell's Special Double Cream Stout, Samuel Smith's Winter Welcome, Pyramid Thunderhead IPA, Anchor Old Foghorn and Odell 90 Shilling Ale to name a few more.

Happy New Beer! I'll count down to midnight sitting in the hot tub with a cold Saranac it looks like.

Movie Review: Tropic Thunder

Through a series of freak occurrences, a group of actors shooting a big-budget war movie are forced to become the soldiers they are portraying.

The best part about this movie is the massive amount of comedic talent assembled and how well they all seem to go together. The soldiers include Jack Black, Ben Stiller and Robert Downey while other parts in the movie are filled by guys like Matthew McConaughey, Tom Cruise and Nick Nolte. That's pretty much a can't miss right there, but you can still add in cameos by everybody from Tyra Banks to Lance Bass to Jay Baruchel. There is just a whole lot of funny people in this. I'd say Robert Downey steals the show but it's hard to forget Tom Cruise's awesome part as well. Ben Stiller is perfect too. McConaughey is brilliant in his limited (too limited I think) role.

But the script actually holds up pretty well to the talent I thought. It's a funny, smart movie full of laugh-out-loud moments. Some of it is a bit raunchy but the funniest bits are subversive satire really, mainly aimed at the Hollywood portrayal of war. Oh don't get me wrong either, I love a lot of war movies... but this was due. It really sort of takes a shot at the genre just as much as it shows that it loves the same genre. Or at least that's how I took it.

This is just a really good action movie spoof loaded with talent and laughs.

Best of 2008: Music

As far as I'm concerned, this was one of the greatest years for music in a looong time. New CDs from a lot of my favorite old dinosaurs like Judas Priest, Metallica, Tesla Journey, Whitesnake, Def Leppard, Motorhead, Motley Crue and AC/DC plus newer bands like Airborne, Black Tide, Trivium, Black Stone Cherry and The Showdown all releasing new material. It was a great year!

It's really tough to put them in any sort of order, as it probably changes week to week depending on what groove I'm in. Here's an effort though.

Top 10 CDs of 2008

10. Candlebox ~ Into The Sun
9. Slipknot ~ All Hope Remains
8. Trivium ~ Shogun
7. AC/DC ~ Black Ice
6. Disturbed ~ Indestructable
5. Airborne ~ Runnin' Wild
4. Black Tide ~ Light From Above
3. Metallica ~ Death Magnetic
2. Sevendust ~ Chapter VII: Hope and Sorrow
1. Black Stone Cherry ~ Superstitions and Folklore

Top Songs of 2008

* Kirisute Gomen ~ Trivium
* Pvt. Ledbetter ~ Tesla
* Down and Out ~ Tantric
* Psychosocial ~ Slipknot
* The Hammer of the Gods ~ The Showdown
* Prodigal Son ~ Sevendust
* All I Want ~ Staind
* Saints of Los Angeles ~ Motley Crue
* All Nightmare Long ~ Metallica
* Inside the Fire ~ Disturbed
* Brother Go On ~ Black Water Rising
* Live Fast Die Young ~ Black Tide
* Blind Man ~ Black Stone Cherry
* Rock N Roll Train ~ AC/DC
* Up All Night ~ Hinder
* Too Much, Too Young, Too Fast ~ Airborne

Biggest Disappointment: This is tough, since Guns 'N Roses' Chinese Democracy is such an easy pick. I mean it took 15 years to make it and enough money to bail out several auto makers and I found it still very average. Some good tunes, some bad ones and ultimately a pretty forgettable CD. But my award will have to go to Judas Priest's Nostradamus. I know, I know... I should have expected a double CD that was labeled a "concept CD" about Nostradamus to have huge suck potential, but I expected so much more from one of my all-time favorite bands. I played this CD for a couple of weeks and just forgot about it. Maybe a couple of solid songs over 2 CDs doesn't cut it.

Best Country CD: I didn't buy a lot of country this year, but Paul Thorn's Long Way To Tupelo is excellent.

Best Concerts:

5. Eagles @ Alltel Arena
4. Down @ The Village
3. Black Stone Cherry @ Riverfest Amphitheater
2. Van Halen @ Alltel Arena
1. Metallica w/Down @ Alltel Arena

Lots of good shows I made it out to for sure. Honorable mentions to Candlebox, Filter and Paul Thorn shows.

Favorite Video of the Year: Slipknot's Pychosocial

Favorite Rap Song: Jonathan Davis' Got Money

Favorite Country Song: Keith Urban's Sweet Thing

Favorite Unsigned Band: Black Water Rising

Best Local Band: Bombay Black... honorable mention Black Suit Karma

Best Comeback CD: Metallica's Death Magnetic

Best Music DVD: Paul Stanley: One Live Kiss... lots of Paul solo and KISS classics, 21 songs

Movie Review: Sharks In Venice

Traveling to Venice to investigate the mysterious death of his father, David (Stephen Baldwin), a famous archaeologist and diver, unearths a killer secret that lies beneath the Venetian waters. When a ruthless mob boss discovers his findings and kidnaps his girlfriend, David must brave the dangerous, shark-infested waters once again to recover the treasure and rescue his girlfriend.

Major props for the awesome name of the movie. I mean what's not to know right there? It's like "Snakes On A Plane" or "Bigfoot in Wal-Mart"... you know what you're in store for... a f'n shark in Venice! And I think it's a great image... all that water, all those people, all the bridges... and add sharks? Awesome! I've seen it called both "Sharks in Venice" and "Shark in Venice" for the record.

Unfortunately that's the only good thing about this movie at all, except for the novelty of a movie that's so bad even the extras earn points for bad acting. I'm talking about the extras that are just standing around. Oddly enough, the ones in this movie seldomly even react to what's going on around them. Like say the guy sitting at a cafe while a chase scene comes through and boxes go flying, which for some reason doesn't draw his attention. And check out the drunk guy and his girlfriend, who have such a small part you really wonder how they could screw it up. Trust me, they do.

But this all makes perfect sense, since the main actors are horrible as well. There are bad accents, bad dialogs and just plain bad emoting all around. This is led by Stephen Baldwin, who gives the performance of a lifetime. The lifetime of a fruitfly that is. And to make matters worse, he wears a shirt for most of the movie that's so tight you can see the pulse pumping through his bouncy man-teets.

The special effects are anything but special. They suck actually. Lots of stock shark footage during the big feeding scenes, which just look way out of place, but they're spliced in with some of the most horrible CGI effects you'll ever see. What the trailer at the end of the post and you'll see what I mean. They have one shot of a shark coming out of the water gulping on something and they use it 3 times by my count. The atrocious chase scenes use the same streets and locales over and over during the same chase as well. I'm all for recycling but is too much.

And on top of all this, the plot is just ridiculous. The bad guys (who we know are bad because they all wear black) want the hidden treasure in Venice, so the lead baddie says he put baby sharks in the water and allowed them to grow up. I'm serious. So somehow staying out of sight for all these years one day they decide to start attacking? And the worst plot point of all is even better than that... they don't know where the loot is but at one point he sends more henchmen (who seem to multiply throughout the film) to get our hero and they go after him... IN THE SECRET HIDING PLACE THEY DON'T KNOW ABOUT!

I could go on I guess but why? You should watch this film for a lot of laughs, this is B-movie making at it's finest. I give it 1 point for the film's title and another 1/2 point for each of Baldwin's boobs.

2/10

Sunday Funnies

Tonite! Best Fight Card of 2008

UFC 92: The Ultimate 2008 is live TONIGHT.

UFC Light Heavyweight Champion, Forrest Griffin defends his title against "Sugar" Rashad Evans. Ultimate Fighter coaches face off as Interim Heavyweight Champion, Antonio "Minotauro" Nogueira takes on Frank Mir. Plus, 2 of the hardest hitting light heavyweights go toe-to-toe when Quinton "Rampage" Jackson battles Wanderlei "The Axe Murderer" Silva. These 2 almost couldn't get through the weigh-ins without coming to blow yesterday.

Holy crap what a card of fights! Not just those 3 "co-main-events" but there's more:

* C.B. Dollaway vs. Mike Massenzio
* Mustafa Al-Turk vs. Cheick Kongo
* Dean Lister vs. Yushin Okami
* Antoni Hardonk vs. Mike Wessel (from Little Rock Arkansas' Westside Kickboxing)



I am completely geeked about this card. Top to bottom.

WEC Best of 2008 Promo

Tune in December 28th on Versus to watch the WEC's Best of 2008. Watch 4 of the best fights from this past year from the WEC on Versus. You the viewer gets to picks which fight you think is the best fight and your vote also makes you eligible to win a VIP trip to the WEC's next LIVE event, Jan 25th in San Diego, CA.

This hard-hitting show includes four spectacular fights:

* Miguel Angel Torres vs. Yoshira Maeda
* Urijah Faber vs. Jens Pulver
* Carlos Condit vs. Hiromitsu Miura
* Donald Cerrone and Rob McCullough (never before seen on television)

Book Review: The Christmas Sweater

The Christmas Sweater
by Glenn Beck

Synopsis: When Eddie was twelve years old, all he wanted for Christmas was a bike. Although his life had gotten harder -- and money tighter -- since his father died and the family bakery closed...Eddie dreamed that somehow his mother would find a way to have his dream bike gleaming beside their modest Christmas tree that magical morning. What he got from her instead was a sweater. "A stupid, handmade, ugly sweater" that young Eddie left in a crumpled ball in the corner of his room. That Christmas morning was the beginning of Eddie's dark and painful journey on the road to manhood.

This was the book I chose this year for my holiday read as it seemed to fit the bill... uplifting, short and timely for Christmas. It is all of those things and I would recommend it to others wanting an uplifting story to pass on to friends or family for the holidays. It's a nice book about facing and conquering our storms in life, faith and forgiveness.

It's very simplistic and nothing too original for sure, as it's right out of the "It's A Wonderful Life" playbook of smaltz and perhaps it's a bit too sentimental and predictable, but it's still an OK read to put you in a good holiday spirit.

It's a spiritual type life lesson that's being taught and I've read through other's reviews where some said it changed their life. I would have to chuckle a bit and wonder how easily led anyone would be for this extremely simple-minded book to change anyone's life... but to each their own I guess. I just found it a good short Christmas time passer and by no means life changing.

5/10

'Twas the Night After Christmas

by Jeff Foxworthy

'Twas the night after Christmas and all through the trailer,
the beer had gone flat and the pizza was staler.
The tube socks hung empty, no candies or toys
and I was camped out on my old Lay-Z-Boy.

The kids they weren't talking to me or my wife,
the worst Christmas they said they had had in their lives.
My wife couldn't argue and neither could I,
so I watched TV and my wife, she just cried.


When out in the yard the dog started barkin',
I stood up and looked and I saw Sheriff Larkin.
He yelled, "Roy I am sworn to uphold the laws
and I got a complaint here from a feller named Claus."

I said, "Claus, I don't know nobody named Claus,
and you ain't taking me in without probable cause."
Then the Sheriff he said, "The man was shot at last night."
I said, "That might have been me, just what's he look like."

The Sheriff replied, "Well he's a jolly old feller with a big beer gut belly,
that shakes when he laughs like a bowl full of jelly.
He sports a long beard, and a nose like a cherry."
I said, "Sheriff that sounds like my wife's sister Sherri."

"It's no time for jokes Roy" the Sheriff he said.
"The man I'm describing in dressed all in red.
I'm here for the truth now, it's time to come clean.
Tell me what you've done, tell me what you've seen."

Well I started to lie then I thought what the hell,
it wouldn't have been the first time that I've spent New Years in jail.
I said, "Sheriff it happened last night about ten,
and I thought that my wife had been drinking again."

When she walked in from work she was as white as a ghost.
I thought maybe she had seen one of them UFO's.
But she said that a bunch of deer had just flown over her head,
and stopped on the roof of our good neighbor Red.

Well I ran outside to look and the sight made me shudder,
a freezer full of venison standing right on Red's gutter.
Well my hands were a shakin' as I grabbed my gun,
when outta Red's chimney this feller did run.

And slung on his back was this bag over flowin'.
I thought he stolen Red's stuff while old Red was out bowling'.
So I yelled, "Drop fat boy, hands in the air!"
But he went about his business like he hadn't a care.

So I popped a warning shot over his head.
Well he dropped that bag and he jumped in that sled.
And as he flew off I heard him extort,
"That's assault with intent Roy, I'll see ya in court."

Mike Wessel Profile and Interview

Mike "The Juggernaut" Wessel, from Westside MMA in Little Rock, has his profile page up on UFC.com now with a video interview of him and his opponent this coming Saturday night @ UFC 92, Antoni Hardonk.

Here's the link

Here's my previous blog on the fight

Here's his profile Q & A:

Training: Conditioning in the morning, skill specific training at night, BJJ & Boxing training in the afternoon.

Thoughts on opponent, Antoni Hardonk? Tough opponent. Great striker, very resilient.

When and why did you start training for fighting? Two years ago I was an assistant Strength & Conditioning Coach for the Arkansas Razorbacks. The competitive fire was still there and I needed an outlet to compete.

What ranks and titles have you held? XFL Heavyweight Title

Do you have any heroes? Walter Payton

What does it mean for you to fight in the UFC? It means that I have reached another one of the many goals that I have set for myself. The next goal is to win in the UFC. I am always excited anytime that I can accomplish a goal and equally as excited to set the next one.

Did you go to college and if so what degree did you earn? 2001 Graduate of University of St. Francis with a BA in Science and minor in Special Education

What was your job before you started fighting? Asst. Strength & Conditioning Coach for the University of Arkansas

Specific accomplishments in amateur competition? Undefeated as an Amateur MMA and Kickboxing

Specific accomplishments in pro competition? XFL Heavyweight Champion, 1-0 Professional Boxing

Favorite grappling technique: North South "Monson" Choke

Favorite Striking technique: Ground and Pound

Guitar Hero Metallica Trailer

Hells yes! The new trailer from Activision for Guitar Hero Metallica, due out in '09. This looks awesome. Crank it!

Happy Hanukkah!

Since yesterday was the first day of Hanaukkah, here's Adam Sandler doing his original classic, The Hanukkah Song.

Let It Snow, Let It Snow!

Watch the Jackson Hole posse shred to Disturbed's "Indestructible". Wow, some of this stuff is awesome!

Sunday Funnies

New Nickelback Video

Nickelback's first video from the Dark Horse CD, "Gotta Be Somebody".

Book Review: Mister B. Gone

Mister B. Gone
by Clive Barker

Synopsis: Jakabok Botch, the child of two demons who has inherited his father's two tails, is rendered even more grotesque after he tumbles into a fire and most of his face is badly burned. A violent dispute with his abusive father leads him to our world. Jakabok eventually finds his way to the home of Johannes Gutenberg, where something big is going down.

A really offbeat novel, as it's written in the form of the demon's diary as a first-person narrative and at times where he actually tries to speak to the reader and tries to convince you to burn the book. He also threatens to kill you a couple of times. This was sort of interesting at first, but after several times it just got sort of old and annoying.

The story itself is pretty thin. I had some anticipation building for what big secret he was to find when he arrived at the home of the final showdown, but was letdown as to what it really was. But I did enjoy and was intrigued by the war and then the negotiation between the angels of heaven and the demons of hell over the written word.

It's a short read that's at times pretty disgusting, but never scary. I like the premise and it has it's moments, but overall the book is really sort of boring and disappointing as a fan of Clive Barker's. Perhaps I expected more just because it was his work.

5/10

Juggy Gets UFC Shot

Story on MMAJunkie.com
MikeWessel.com

UFC newcomer Mike "The Juggernaut" Wessel (8-1 MMA, 0-0 UFC) replaces Mark Burch (9-2 MMA, 0-0 UFC) in a UFC 92 fight with Antoni Hardonk (7-4 MMA, 3-2 UFC), the UFC recently announced.

The Wessel-Hardonk fight is slated for the un-aired preliminary card of UFC 92, which takes place Dec. 27 at the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas.

Wessel, a two-year professional, is currently riding a seven-fight win streak. The former University of Arkansas assistant strength and conditioning coach will fight for the sixth time in 2008. He currently trains at the Little Rock-based Westside Kickboxing and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. Westside is the martial-arts center co-owned by Roli Delgado, who was on The Ultimate Fighter and found on this past Saturday night's UFC card, beating John Polakowski.

Hardonk, a former kickboxer, made his octagon debut at UFC 65 and defeated Sherman Pendergarst via first-round TKO. The 32-year-old Dutchman then suffered back-to-back losses to Justin McCully and Frank Mir before recently scoring TKO victories over Colin Robinson (in just 17 seconds) and Eddie Sanchez.

Now Showing

3 new wides hit before Christmas week... a drama, an animated kid's flick and a comedy. Let's have a looksie.

Seven Pounds

The Plot: A professional man (Will Smith) who is close to suicide for his role in an auto accident that claimed the lives of seven people finds a reason to live, and to atone, when he falls for a woman (Rosario Dawson) who wants to help him deal with his grief.
My Thoughts: It's from the same director as Pursuit of Happyness, another Will Smith joint, and it looks about as uplifting. I've heard there's a bit of a twist as well. I'm anxious to see this.



The Tale of Despereaux

The Plot: Banished from his home for being more man than mouse, Despereaux is befriended by Princess Pea, who teaches him the value of reading books (instead of eating them) as well as a fellow outcast, Roscuro the Rat. When Roscuro is shunned by the princess, however, he plots her kidnapping, putting Desperaux's human-sized bravery to the test.
My Thoughts: I don't know much more about this than what I've seen in the trailer, but it looks pretty interesting.



Yes Man

The Plot: What happens when you agree with everyone and say "yes" to everything? Carl (Jim Carrey) is about to find out when he chooses to become overly agreeable for an entire year.
My Thoughts: Wasn't this called Liar, Liar just a few years ago? But Carey is usually good for a few laughs and I love Zooey Deschanel, who co-stars.

The 12 Beers of Christmas

The latest issue of Draft Magazine has a great article on their favorite holiday brews, which I was reading last night. I'll give you a handy link right here:

Holiday Beers: Draft Picks

In it they have 10 of their favorite holiday brews, but as I haven't gotten to try all of them you'll either have to take their word for them of go find them yourselves. Trust me though, I read their magazine every issue and they seldom will lead beer lovers astray. I've tried about half of them.

Since a dozen is such a nice number though, I'll add 2 more to their list and call my list the much more catchy title of...

The 12 Beers of Christmas!

See how that rolls off the tongue?

Let's begin.

These beers don't represent specific styles, and there are no rules: A Christmas beer can be (and contain) whatever a brewer wants, as long as it's special. Below, the cream of this season's crop.

* Our Special Ale
Anchor Brewing Co., California
People have guessed that this dark ale has been spiced with everything from licorice and nutmeg to chestnut and pumpkin. The ingredients are secret, and that's part of the fun.

* Celebration Ale
Sierra Nevada Brewing Co., California
This extraordinarily hopped pale ale (using Cascades and Centennial flowers) is beautifully balanced and a joy to savor.

* Avecles Bons Voeux
Brasserie Dupont, Belgium
A classic farmhouse ale, Avec was first made for the brewery's workers. The perfumelike aroma of hops is complemented by layers of spicy flavor from its special yeast strain.

* Samichlaus Bier
Schloss Eggenberg, Austria
Brewed on St. Nicholas Day (Dec. 7), it's known as the strongest lager (14% ABV) in the world. Drink it from a snifter to enjoy the fruity malt flavors.

* Winter Welcome Ale
Samuel Smith Old Brewery, England
Revived by Seattle beer importer Charles Finkel, this rich, creamy, malty ale is modeled on England's old wassails.

* Corsendonk Christmas Ale
Brouwerij Corsendonk, Belgium
Named after a now-closed monastery, the Corsendonk brewery produces the prototypical strong, dark Belgian Christmas beer. Rich and dark with a spicy, chocolatey aroma, it's outstanding either from its corked bottle or on tap.

* Santa's Private Reserve
Rogue Ales, Oregon
The hoppy red ale is wonderfully flavorful, but it's the bottle itself -- decorated with glistening, glow-in-the-dark snowflakes -- that make this a favorite among beer fans.

* Sam Adams Old Fezziwig Ale
Boston Beer Co., Massachusetts
In Dickens' "A Christmas Carol," Old Fezziwig was the antithesis of Scrooge, a generous businessmen loved by his employees. The warmer is spiced with cinnamon and fresh ginger, with a honeylike malt flavor and a bit of orange in the finish.

* Mad Elf Ale
Tröegs Brewing Co., Pennsylvania
This 11%-ABV Belgian strong dark ale is made with tart cherries and honey. Its dominant character is a tingling clove spiciness, the product of unique Belgian yeast strains.

* Christmas Bock
Mahr's Brau, Germany
The first time this festive beer was offered at Mahr's, locals sucked down the entire supply in two hours. These days, there's enough of this rich, malty bock for everyone.

* Delirium Noël
Brouwerij Huyghe, Belgium
A Belgian strong dark ale that's 10.00% ABV, it was born in 2000. Not as sweet as I expected and really not that spicy either. Actually a pretty balanced fruity taste.

* Nutcracker Ale
Boulevard Brewery, Kansas City, Mo.
This hearty, warming brew is a classic winter ale, deep amber in color, with hints of molasses balanced by the "spiciness" of freshly harvested Chinook hops.

On the 12 Days of Christmas, My True Love Gave to Me...

---

December 14, 2003

Dearest Dave,

I went to the door today, and the postman delivered a partridge in a pear tree. This was a delightful gift! I couldn't have been more surprised or pleased darling!

With truly the deepest love,
Agnes

---

December 15, 2003

Dearest Dave,

Today the postman brought me yet another of your sweet gifts. The two turtule doves that arrived today are adorable, and I'm delighted by your thoughtful and generous ways.

With all of my love,
Your Agnes

---

December 16, 2003

Dearest Dave,

You've truly been too kind! I must protest; I don't deserve such generosity. The thought of getting three French hens amazes me. Yet, I am not surprised--what more should I expect from such a nice person.

Love,
Agnes

---

December 17, 2003

Dear Dave,

Four calling birds arrived in the mail today. They are truly nice but don't you think that enough is enough? You are being too romantic.

Affectionately,
Agnes

---

December 18, 2003

Dearest darling Dave,

It was a surprise to get five golden rings! I now have one for every finger. You truly are impossible darling, yet oh how I love it! Quite frankly, all of those squarking birds from the previous days were starting to get on my nerves. Yet, you managed to come through with a beautiful valuable gift!

All my love,
Agnes

---

December 19, 2003

Dear Dave,

When I opened my door, there were actually six geese a-laying on my front steps. So you're back to the birds again, huh? Those geese are dear, but where will I keep them? The neighbors are complaining, and I am unable to sleep with all the racket. Please stop dear.

Cordially,
Agnes

---

December 20, 2003

Dave,

What is with you and those stupid birds!? Seven swans a-swimming!! What kind of sick joke is this!!?? There are bird droppings everywhere! They never shut up, and I don't get any sleep!!! I'm a nervous wreck! It's not funny you weirdo, so stop with the birds.

Sincerely,
Agnes

---

December 21, 2003

O.K. wise guy,

The birds were bad enough. Now what do you expect me to do with eight maids a-milking? If that's not bad enough, they had to bring their cows!! The front lawn was completely ruined by them, and I can't move in my own house! Just lay off me or you'll be sorry!

Agnes

---

December 22, 2003

Hey loser,

What are you? You must be some kind of sadist!! Now there are nine pipers playing, and they certainly do play! They haven't stopped chasing those maids since they got here! The cows are getting upset, and they're stepping all over those screeching birds. The neighbors are getting up a petition to evict me, and I'm going out of my mind!

You'll get yours!
Agnes

---

December 23, 2003

You rotten scum!!!

There are now ten ladies dancing! There is only one problem with that! They're dancing twenty-four hours a day all around me with the pipers upsetting the cows and the maids. The cows can't sleep, and they are going to the bathroom everywhere! The building commissioner has subpoenaed me to give cause as to why the house shouldn't be condemned! I can't even think of a reason! You creep! I'm sicking the police on you!

One who means it!

---

December 24, 2003

Listen you evil, sadistic, maniac!

What's with the eleven lords-a-leaping?!? They are leaping across the rooms breaking everything and even injuring some of the maids! The place smells, is an absolute mad house, and is about to be condemned! At least the birds are quiet; they were trampled to death by the cows. I hope you are satisfied--you rotten vicious worthless piece of garbage!

Your sworn enemy,
Agnes

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December 25, 2003

The Law Offices of
Badger, Rees, and Yorker
20 Knave Street
Chicago, Illinois

Dear sir,

This is to acknowledge your latest gift of twelve fiddlers-fiddling which you have seen fit to inflict on our client, one Agnes Mcholstein. The destruction of course was total. If you attempt to reach Ms. Mcholstein at Happy Daze Sanatarium, the attendants have instructions to shoot you on site.

Please direct all correspondence to this office in the future. With this letter, please find attached a warrant for your arrest.

Cordially,
Badger, Rees, and Yorker

---

Written by Agnes Mcholstein.

Great New Video

I love this video! It feels like a little nod to A-ha's "Take On Me" and also Van Halen's "Hot For Teacher" but it's really fun and inventive. I like the animation and the ending is awesome. Great song too.

The band is called The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus (which was chosen by placing random words on a wall, and then blindfolding one of the members and choosing a few words) and the song is "You Better Pray". It's the first video off their upcoming album "Lonely Road" (February 3rd).

These guys are out of Jacksonville, Florida and have been around since about 2003 I believe. Their last CD went gold. I've only recently jumped on the bandwagon myself.

Movie Review: The Day The Earth Stood Still

A remake of the 1951 classic sci-fi film about an alien visitor (Keanu Reeves) and his giant robot counterpart who visit Earth.

Keanu Reeves plays an alien that doesn't show any emotion... so actually he's really good in this. Also it's got Kathy Bates, Jennifer Connelly, John Cleese and Will Smith's son Jaden in it. All are really good and I was especially impressed with Jaden Smith. The camera seems to love this kid and I wouldn't be surprised to see him turn out to be nearly as big of a star as his dad some day.

The special effects are really good as well, but I think it relies a bit too much on them and doesn't concentrate on the story enough. They do a good job of building things up but then it really just turns out to have environmentalist agenda moreso than charm or good storytelling, despite the fact that it becomes quite bogged down with dialog before ending with some big special effects.

All in all it's sort of fun, especially during the first half, but ultimately it's just a mediocre flick that I really didn't think served to be nearly as effective as it wanted to be. It's passable as entertainment for an hour and a half but then it will be quickly forgotten I'm guessing.

6/10

New Belgium Winter Beer Tasting

I went to another great beer tasting at my favorite beer joint, the Flying Saucer, a few nights ago. The last time it was for North Coast Brewery and this time around it was for Colorado's New Belgium Brewery, a favorite of mine. I've tried the majority of their brews (plenty of times for most of them) but they make some great stuff and the Saucer folks are pretty good at pairing them up with food so I try not to miss these things. It's always a fun time to meet and visit with other beer lovers as well.

Our local beer rep for New Belgium got us going with a speech about the brewery and it's beers. They started us off with the Abbey Grand Cru, a rich, full-bodied Belgian dubbel style ale that's a little bit fruity. It went well with the salad they served, which had a little jalapeno vinaigrette in it for good measure. This is a great beer and quenched the heat brought on by the salad dressing quite nicely.

Before the trio of soup samplers they brought out some Summership Wit, a zesty white beer that's their first venture into organically-produced beer. I prefer this brew in the Summer, but it's a bit lighter and that was welcome after the 9% abv of the starting beer.

Next came the soup and their La Folie, which is a really sour lambic-like beer. He talked a bit about the oak aging this beer goes through and as this beer sit a little bit and breathed, it got better. Not a beer I'd drink often though.

That got us to the main course, which was some excellent smoked tenderloin, vegetable medley and some baby baked potatoes. Out for this came one of my favorite New Belgium beers, the chocolaty 1554 black ale. I drink this beer pretty regularly as it's got a nice clean finish after a good coffee tone to the flavor.

Once we finished the main course we got served a very special beer, their new dark, double-bock weiss beer called Matty's Dunkel. He hinted as to what was in it but wanted us to figure it our for ourselves. It was spiced with clove and black pepper, but only slighly. The bigger flavor was of banana and it was a pretty sweet beer. This was another 9% Abv as well. They brought out a Belgian waffle that was actually prepared with New Belgium Trippel, dusted with sugar and topped with peaches and cream. Oh baby... delicious! The beer and the waffle both were.

Great night of eating, visiting and sampling for sure and one of my favorite tastings in a while. For good measure before walking across the street and catching some local bands, I topped it off with a New Belgium 2° Below. It's a very drinkable seasonal hoppy Winter brew with some floral hints that I like during the holiday season.

Movie Review: Untraceable

FBI agent Jennifer Marsh (Diane Lane) is tasked with hunting down a seemingly untraceable serial killer who posts live videos of his victims on the Internet and the more people who hit the site, the faster the victim dies. As time runs out, the cat and mouse chase becomes more personal.

This movie is pretty much just a Silence of the Lambs for the Internet age, although it's not nearly as good as that classic. It's got a little bit of suspense and a couple of plot twists here and there, but nothing too original by any means. One problem I did have was that they revealed who the killer is way too early in the film I thought, which took away all of the guesswork. Also, Lane's character does a few stupid things, especially towards the end of the film.

The moral lesson the films tries to shove down it's audience's throat is far from sublte, and I found that annoying as well.

On the plus side though, Diane Lane plays the Jodie Foster role and is great while playing a very likable character. They make her very human and vunerable along with her family, and that makes it easy to care about what happens to them and root against the bad guy more I found.

So while there's nothing particularly memorable or inspiring about this movie, it's really not awful either. It just sort of is what it is; a decent thriller that I sort of enjoyed for a couple of hours then pretty much will forget about.

5.5/10

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